MUTUAL RESPONSIBILITIES & DUTIES BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE(Sheikh Isa Ali Pantami)


MUTUAL RESPONSIBILITIES &
DUTIES
BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE:
Unfortunately! Misunderstanding,
sentiment, ignorance and
materialism
become a great source of troubles
and
problems to many spouses in their
marital life. However, marriage has
been ordained and enjoined by our
Lord
as a mean of attaining PEACE and
TRANQUILITY as categorically and
elaborately stated in the
GLORIOUS
QUR’AN (see: Qur’an chapter
30:21).
I believe based on an Indepth
study and
experience that, trauma and
pandemonium have silently,but
surely
dominated marital life as a result of
not
discharging individual
responsibilities as
HUSBAND and WIFE. Spouses
mostly
resort to tit-for-tat in dealing with
their
misunderstanding and
subsequently this
brings serious DISHARMONY
between
them.
A great scholar, Dr Nizâr Shu’aib
opined
that there are duties that the
husband
and wife owe to each other. These
duties are mutual that HUSBAND
and
WIFE must observe them in their
marital
life. These duties are six: these are
First Duty: To forgive each other’s
small
mistakes. this should be by
controlling
your temper if your spouse is
angry,
even if you think you are right and
your
spouse is wrong. You must always
avoid
believing in the criticisms of your
critics,
including your parents that are not
educated religiously or are inclined
to
materialism as the only quality of
marriage. However, parents should
be
treated with kindness even if they
are
wrong in their perception.
Second Duty: To provide emotional
support in both happiness and
sadness.
Because both HAPPINESS and
SADNESS
are inevitable in life.
Third Duty: To offer each other
wholesome advice concerning
obedience to Allah. Encourage
your
spouse in observing prayers,
giving out
charity (Sadaqa), visiting relatives
and
friends if you have the means,
seeking
Allah’ forgiveness, eating lawful
provisions and many others.
Fourth Duty: To keep each other’s
secrets. Our beloved Prophet
(SAW)
says: “The people of the worst
stature
with Allah on the Day of Judgment
are
men who confide in their wives,
and
wives who confide in their
husbands,
and then they spread each other’s
secrets around.” [Sahîh Muslim]
Fifth Duty: To pass the night with
one
another. Women must tend to their
husband’s needs even if they don’t
feel
that need themselves. The Prophet
(peace be upon him) said: “If a
man
invites his wife to his bed and she
refuses, and as a consequence he
goes
to sleep angry, then the angels
curse her
until she rises.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî].
This
could be applicable to husband,
because
you should always dress nicely for
his
wife and satisfy his wife desire.
Marriage a lady (woman) is not the
same with purchasing a servant or
a
car, it is undoubtedly a selection of
a
life partner, and as a result of that,
she
needs caring, respect, support and
encouragement. In line with this,
the
Prophet (SAW) said to his ascetic
Companion Abû al-Dardâ’: “O Abâ
al-
Dardâ, you have a duty to your
body,
and to your Lord, and to your
guest,
YOU HAVE A DUTY TO YOUR
WIFE. Fast
and break your fasts, pray, AND
BE
INTIMATE WITH YOUR WIFE.
Give
everyone their due right.” [Sahîh al-
Bukhârî]
Sixth Duty: To adorn themselves in
a
reasonable manner. This is implied
in
the verse: “Be intimate with them in
kindness.” And “They have as what
is
asked of them in kindness.” Both
spouses should dress for each
other,
nicely, elegantly, gorgeously,
wonderfully
and sexually.
NOTE: My respected brothers and
sister, I believe by implementing
these
mutual duties by both parties our
marital problems and
misunderstandings will not only be
eliminated but replaced with
HARMONY,
PEACE and TRANQUILITY. May
Allah
bless our MARITAL LIFE and
transform it
to a WORLD-CLASS ONE which
cannot
be found anywhere. May He enrich
us
with PIOUS and RESPONSIBLE
CHILDREN

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